In all earnestness, I am here today to tell you that I have become the Master of Hollandaise! I can claim such a title because I have perfectly whipped up five successive batches of the silky golden emulsion, and because my picky 7 year-old (finally!) asked for more.
Using a double boiler or a saucepan filled with an inch of water and with a heatproof bowl set on top (do not let the water touch the bottom of the bowl), bring the water to a low simmer, while vigorously whisking 2 egg yolks with a tablespoon of cold water until super foamy and thick in the bowl. Once the water begins simmering, it will take maybe 3 minutes to get to the thick-enough stage. Melt 2/3 of a stick of butter and VERY slowly whisk in a couple of drops of it until fully incorporated. Whisk in a few more the same way, and keep doing this until about 2/3 of the butter has successfully been incorporated. The remaining butter can be added in a slow but steady stream. By the way, this process takes about 1 ½ minutes. Add lemon juice to taste—start with a couple of teaspoons, and if you have any, freshly cracked white pepper. If it is a little bit runny, whisk less vigorously over the heat until it thickens to an acceptable level. Pour over poached eggs or roasted asparagus, serve as a dip for artichokes, or dunk in chunks of quality bread. The absolutely critical things to remember or else your hollandaise will suck are: (1) never stop whisking; (2) make absolutely certain that the water doesn’t come to a rolling boil or touch the bottom of the bowl; and (3) VERY slowly incorporate the melted butter—it will curdle if you don’t. C’est magnifique!
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